After Visiting 2022, Time-Traveling Noah Decides To Go Back And Sink The Ark

(Source: The Babylon Bee)

DALLAS, TX—A time-traveler from the year 2348 B.C. who called himself Noah was seen getting in a heated argument outside a gay bar at the ‘Drag Your Kids To Pride’ event. According to sources, he loudly declared he needed to go back in time and sink the ark.

“I have to go back; I helped save a remnant of humanity and—well, I’ve made a huge mistake,” said Noah as he stood in front of a neon “It’s Not Going To Lick Itself” sign and watched kids stuff dollar bills in drag queens’ underwear. “Humanity was a bad idea. I need to get back to my time and sink the ark and put an end to this.” 

Eyewitnesses described how the argument began over what the sign of the rainbow really means. However, things quickly grew heated over the scientific plausibility of the flood narrative in Genesis, and then became a shouting match over which movies get time travel right.